"Only promise me a battle for your soul and mind."

 

A girl's best friends, if popular belief is anything to go by, are diamonds and shoes. Now I'm not gonna say I would throw diamonds away if they were offered to me and I do proclaim my love to shoe shaped objects weekly, but my best friends are more on the technological side. Especially my Kindle. And my phone, even if it is on the busted up side (or: it's not broken, it's just this new 3D wallpaper you've never heard of).

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I believe in vitamin D and the powers of sunshine in the morning. And that is why I am blaming my lack of energy in the mornings on the weather and not on the fact that although I am in a very peaceful state with myself most of the time, there is a subtle, thin coating of panic over my brain ever since this last year of school started. Can I be panicked and in search for the fucks to give at the same time? Cause I am gonna stick to this plan for the foreseeable future.

(Don't judge my coping mechanisms. They may look bad but they work. Most of the time. Ahem.)

Things that help with keeping the panic away:

• The Batman and Robin comic books because Batman always helps. Especially if you read his lines with that stupid, gruff voice from the movies.
• All the scenes from Star Trek when Bones keeps stabbing Kirk with a hypo.
• The Paperman, a Disney short.
• This mixtape, that reminds me of all those awesome times of being a teenager.
• Donald Grover talking about a black Spider-Man and the very stupid reactions to that.
• That moment you realize Tarantino is just screwing with us.
• Serena McKellen.

And of course, the fact that I got to spend a lot of time with both Ina and Alice making fun of the best bad movies and "fashion" ;)

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Been lazy when it comes to fashion lately because a) cold, so cold and b) jeans. My answer to everything has been "jeans" because they keep me from freezing and because I can sit as I like, and that is sprawled over a couch, coffee table and chair with a laptop on my belly and no threat of indecent exposure. But I guess this weekend's outfit brings back the era of the lady.

The problem with having a puppy: he is an attention whore and he learned how to jump. No place is safe.

Wearing: Zara dress, Mango cardigan, Adesgo tights, Lashez boots, no brand bracelets.

"Woman, give me my treat before I bite your ass."

Went comicbook shopping. Did not find any Batman & Robin but we did buy this. Harap-Alb, national prince charming and classical all time badass now in comic book form. I would have enjoyed writing essays about him a lot more if I had these in high school.

Why I love having white walls: you just need some best friends, paint and a bottle of wine and bam! Cheap yet heartfelt decorations.

 

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Song of the Day: Gil Scott Heron - Me and the Devil

"Forget the bull in the china shop, there's a china doll in the bullpen."

Sometimes I dream about buying a pair of comfy sneakers but we all know I'm never gonna wear them outside a hospital so at least I can be honest about this to myself and that shows important personal growth for me this summer. Or something ;))

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I cannot believe summer is officially over. Okay, mostly I dont want to accept this fact because the more I think about the fact that I am starting my last year of medical school the more I need to curl up in a fetal position clutching a pillow and just wallow in my own pit of despair and bitter tasting anguish. Yes, I am refusing to accept reality and substituting my own, haha, what are coping mechanisms?

(How do you adult and where can I order the crash course?)

But summer was fun and thrilling and so goddamn enjoyable that I am not bitter at all it's ending. Or not too bitter, at least. I spent my last real vacation doing what I do best: bumming around, drinking my weight in beer, reading books and getting a tan for the first time in years.

And I have a feeling on the first day of uni I am going to be scared like hell yet unnaturally giddy. And hungover. Oh yes, so very hungover.

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Note to self: when you're getting up the next day at 6 am to have coffee with The Boy before he leaves for work, do not think that watching the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (extended edition, of course) is a good idea because in the morning you will look like you got run trampled by the entire orc forces of Mordor. (I've got dark circles like Sauron has anger management issues.)

(Also: thank the gods The Boy already loves me or else my screams of "Aragorn, what is your face!" and "Samwise Gamgee, you are a special precious snowflake!" would have scared him off forever.)

Shoes that have metal pointy ends work because they can be used as a weapon and a fashion statement. I just need a pair that has knives for heels and I'll be ready to take over the world as soon as I can move my ass off the couch.

Nail-polish inspiration: The Sandman comics by the formidable Mr. Neil Gaiman. It is gruesome and funny and macabre and an amazing read.

Wearing: Kotton dress, Zara shoes, Accessorize bracelet, no name tights and bracelets.

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Because it's nice when you finish some good books (must reads for this summer: Cloud Atlas because it is breathtakingly beautiful, Sharp Teeth because it's vicious and bloody and World War Z because it's about zombies!!) and it's nice when you can wiggle your toes in the sand. Summer days being lazy and summer nights eating shawarma on the boardwalk under the full moon, yes please.

You can't have The Boy and I in the same room without some geek out moments. T-shirt from WeLoveFine and comic books from one of my favorite new coffee places, Comic Book City Cafe.

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Road trips at night. They turned out to be more fun when the soundtrack was a two year old mixtape and I realized I heard most of these bands live a month back (more about The Amazing Beer Sponsored Adventures at the Dusty Sziget Festival, starring yours truly, in the next post) and when the company was a sleepy kitty, a finished highway and good friends.

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Song of the Day: Dessa - The Bullpen

"This quiver in my lip, that’s just where I keep my arrows"

So close to being a quarter of a century old. My mother calls me "still annoyingly young" and my friends remind me I would have been a mother and toeing my grave 200 years ago. How can you not love birthdays in this situation? :))

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Not dead! I'm sure that was the feeling my empty blog was giving but I am not dead, just ridiculously apathetic regarding anything that has to do with the online world. And regular world. But things are looking up in that "Holy cheerleader, Batman! What have I been doing with my life" sort of way that hits me every few months and makes me want to drown in lattes and chocolate cake.

(Also, it took me a month to figure out why the new Blogger interface hates me. Apparently it just hates my Mac, which isn't surprising because duh, Macs.)

A recap of the past months:

• I turned 24 and it was amazing because I got a surprise birthday party out of it (my friends > anything else)

• I started archery lessons because I am slave to pop culture trends (Hello Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye, let me stare at your arms some more and hey to you too Miss Katniss Everdeen and that surprisingly violent to be a movie/book aimed at teenagers) and Krav Maga lessons because I am tiny and girly and afraid of being killed in dark alley someday (The most important lesson I learned: always kick the balls and if wearing heels just head straight for the kneecaps.)

• I finished my 5th year of medical school and that means that I have just one more year left before I will be deemed responsible enough to hold people's lives in my hands and WHAT?!

• Saw movies. A lot of movies. Maybe even too many movies? Yeah, right, like there's such a thing as too many. Favorites: The Avengers which I saw fives times in a row (Okay, maybe this is too many.)(If anyone wants to talk to me about a psychotic God of Chaos or Tony Stark and his loathing for himself and other Avengers feelings you know where to find me.); The Dark Knight Rises (The French Revolution meets Occupy Wallstreet meets Tom Hardy's beautiful back, yesssss!); Rock of Ages (so much kitch and when did music go from awesome to Bieber and why am I attracted to jean jackets again?!); and I forgot the rest but yay for movies!

• Tv shows still keep me occupied: Teen Wolf (which is bad then it turns good and the characters are amazing in fun but still, what is up with the name?), The Hour (Ben Whishaw's face and journalism and the KGB and Ben Whishaw's face), Girls (which is so bad, guys, so bad but I can't stop watching and really, if I wanted to see whiny middle-class privileged white girls whine I'd just look in the mirror) and The Newsroom (such a love/hate thing: I love the way Sorkin writes but the man is so delusional and so stuck up in his "I am a white man, hear me whine how my life is soooo hard" and really dude? Life was better 60 years ago when sexism and racism and ableism were the norm?! Not that things are different now, far from it, but at least I can now call you on your bullshit so go stuff it!)

• I was stuck in a rut. But now, I am not! (I think.) So yay!

And It's funny how my life can be summarized by what I watched but really, you wouldn't want to see me talk about other things because you'd end up smacking me upside the head. So welcome back to me, I might fall down the rabbit whole again so lets enjoy this pretty ride while it lasts :)

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Birthdays with friends who I love so much it hurts sometimes and who join me in drinking alcohol and remising how awfully lame we were all in high school. I love life in moments like these.

    

<3

Because The Boy knows me so well: his and hers XBox controllers. Now we can die together while playing Modern Warfare!

And my friends know me too well, it'd be scary if it wasn't flattering. (Many long nights have been spent with too many wine bottles while trying to master the drums in Bat Country. 

Also: papoi!

New obsession: superhero inspired nails. Hello Iron Man!

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Also, a new love for weekends and barbecues and for the privilege of having a backyard.

   

Books you should read: the Game of Thrones series (but only if you want to have your heart ripped out through your nose by the human troll known as George R.R. Martin), Boy Meets Boy (because being a teenager in love is beautiful and heartbreaking and exaggerated as only a teenager can be), Green River Running Red (for people who enjoy reading about serial killers as much as I do)(wow, way to sound creepy Anna), The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks (kick as girl fighting outdated gender norms and kicking ass!).

  

Things I also love: stealing The Boy's clothes. Things I love even more: the fact that he lets me.

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Met up with Alice some more since my summer holiday started and it's been great. It's so nice to meet people with whom you can talk for hours. I love her and you should too!

Superhero nails part too: Deadpool. Because who doesn't love a psycho?

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In case you were ever wondering how study groups work.

 

And hospital rotations are a wonder when you can escape for a quick coffee break on the hospital roof.

I look more badass than I actually am. (Can hit 50% of the targets and I am really good at killing random potted plants that had the bad luck of being in the same room as my target practice.)

Rule of thumb: the pointy end? Keep it away from any living being and you'll do great.

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Now, let my real vacation begin: if I show no signs of life please look for me in Budapest where I will be either drunk on a lawn listening to Placebo live or at the zoo cooing over cute baby sloths. I love summer.

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Song of the Day: Doomtree - String Theory

"We emerged from youth all wide-eyed like the rest, shedding skin faster than skin can grow."

And then comes a time, when the clouds break open and the sun warms the icebound lands. That is when the wonder happens for that is the day the med students walk the Earth again, free of their XBoxes and their beds ;)

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I shall not talking about uni because talking about it might break the mental walls I built and let my PTSD flood over my brain and bring back the pain and horror. All you need to know is that I am a survivor of the horrible menace known as Public Health and Management, and I have the psychological scars to prove it! Dear gods, please make it so that I shall never go through this until I am dead and buried deep, deep underground.

But I can talk about how happy I am that Game of Thrones is back, even if I am convinced that George R. R. Martin sits in a dark corner of his room, giggling hysterically as he throws sharp poisonous arrows in our hearts. Don't get me started on my absolute fondness of the Lannisters and how I love it when their crazy shows, or about Jon Snow's impressive grumpy face or how intimidating and fierce I find the fact that the Stark words are 'Winter is coming'. I have a lot of thoughts about this imaginary world, we should all catch up and I can talk your ear off about my feelings, seriously guys, let me talk about my love!!

Ahem.

Got up to date with The Hunger Games, and while it did not make it's place in my heart as I expected it too, I must admit that I am head over heels in love with Jennifer Lawrence and her ridiculous face and I am immensely amused by Peeta, the baker named after a type of bread. Got cravings for carbs after every chapter I read. So dumb yet so endearing.

And the new obsession that has been eating all hours of the day and the priceless hours of the night that I so desperately need for sleep: Assassin's Creed. There is a slim chance I will be found dead one day, clutching an XBox controller and wearing an assassin's cape I made out of the paper I printed my Urology book on. I blame this on the awesomeness that is Ezio Auditore da Firenze. Can you really blame me?

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And however crazy this period must've been, I will forever remember it because of the fun times I had with my uni group. I love them all so much and we stood up together to this danger known as statistics. We were helped by giant bottles of wine and horrendous yet delicious quantities of pizza and junk food and we came out of this… well, to be honest, plumper but happier.

We were also helped by sunny days and a lovely walk in the park to get the blood flowing before we'd barricade ourselves inside the house behind empty pizza box forts and wine glasses.

We sported the look made popular my medical students in all the land: pasty white skin.

And apparently I needed a gentle hand and some prodding and coaching when it came to posing :))

Okay, more prodding and poking than actual coaching, but when one is outnumbered all one can do is smile and hope the camera won't catch any embarrassing moments.

In case you ever wondered how I get my hair to be so bouncy.

Wearing: Lashez dress, H&M belt, Nine West boots, Mango coat.

And after all that coaching, I still couldn't get it right. Damn.

The Boy realized he created a monster. Or a gamer. Insert evil laughter here ;)

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Study groups are even more fun when there's pizza and video games. I am sure there's a serious scientific study that proves my theory. Look it up, it's true.

(PS: Keep your eyes on this place, dear readers, I've got a surprise giveaway for you by the end of this week. Pretty things for pretty people await!)

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Song of the Day: The Weakerthans - Sounds Familiar