Thursday, 9 July 2009

"Well my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to"

The past weeks have been very slow and agitated at the same time. I've had a lot of time to myself, split between papers of Freud's theories (we're all overly sexual beings who develop abnormal relations with our family members, oh goodie) and nights spent with Smile Like You Mean It blasting through headphones and insomnia caused from too many glasses of Diet Coke.

I have realized I'm the most outgoing antisocial girl . I can't decide between lying in bed all day with my phone off and ignoring each breath around me or being out, talking and connecting and living.

I think this year has also been a two-sided coin. So many bad moments that deserve a glass a water and Xanax on the side. And yet those bad things have brought some beautiful moments after them. You lose some you win some. But I think I'm too used to losing things and people (and my sanity sometimes, some would say) that I am feeling like something's bound to happen, like waiting for the other shoe to drop even when there might not even be one.

I think I've also lost my track a little, especially when it comes to certain dreams and standards. I miss my photography so much that it was a bit shock to realize that I haven't picked up a camera (like, really do it and feel it and enjoy it) in some time.

Time to get back on that horse and get back on fighting, no?

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Step one: Ignore the weird feeling buzzing underneath my skin.

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Step Two: Pick up that camera already.








I love pomegranates. It's such an interesting experience to cut one up, when I was a kid I always thought it was the only fruit that actually looked like it was bleeding.



Met this little guy in my bathroom one night. He kept watch on me while I removed my makeup of the day and then I watched over him while he flew back out the window.








Favorite meal of the day. More or less, the only one I always enjoy to the fullest.



Colored my hair again after two months of it being ignored. Mom says the color is very close to the color of blood right now, and of course I took that as a compliment. (why yes, us med students are little sadists :))




I love being a redhead.

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35 comments:

Ruxandra said...

ador nuanta aia de roscat.si pranzul arata delicios:Dce ai pus acolo?musli?

Anna Pope said...

Merci mult Ruxandra :D

The breakfast is whole grain cereals, soy/rice milk, flax seeds, almonds, dry figs and whatever fruit I have around the house :)

Shannon said...

I feel like i've been neglecting my camera lately too. I worry about monotony. But I guess stagnating is better than giving up entirely.

I think you have done so much this year that you can be awesomely proud of - and the year is only half way through!

Jessica said...

I know how "those days" can feel. My advice is to not ignore them...take time to feel and learn from them. You see if you ignore them you'll skip a step and the feeling that you are skipping will come back and haunt you. You are awesome!

ellie said...

I've just come across your blog and felt i had to say hello.

I really envy your photography skills, pomengranetes have always amused me too, i used to spend hours as a child eating each individual seed with a cocktail stick!

Love the colour of your hair.

indigotangerine said...

i love your photographs, expecially the bed and the pomegranites. It often feel like i'm losing track of whats important but I'm trying to hang on to my aspirations...
-indigo

Anca said...

Din blog-ul tau reiese ca ai o viata implinita, plina de tot felul de activitati si multi prieteni. Cel putin asa mi se pare mie. Si ca esti o persoana ambitioasa, inteligenta si distractiva, care stie exact ce vrea de la viata. De multe ori cand iti citeam post-urile, oscilam intre invidie si admiratie pentru felul tau de a fi si de a privi lucrurile. Sunt sigura ca nu sunt doar aparente. Cand te simti nesigura si confuza, incearca sa nu iei viata prea in serios si sa vezi doar partea plina a paharului.

annah-logue said...

i'm so glad you decided to pick up your camera again! i've challenged myself to do that recently, too. taking three square photos a day...it's challenging!

carola said...

"I can't decide between lying in bed all day with my phone off and ignoring each breath around me or being out, talking and connecting and living." cel putin din punctul asta de vedere, avem ceva in comun :) Si fotografiile tale devin tot mai bune pe zi ce trece. Rodiile pe marginea chiuvetei arata fenomenal!

karl's sweet child said...

i want to be a redhead too :(

Esmé Squalor said...

it started out with a kiss, how could it end up like this. . .

killers lyrics are always buzzing around in me and i'll whisper them under my breath during class while people look at me as though I am behaving peculiarly, or ask me what happened at that party last night. I then have to admit to them that I was not at that party and that my mutterings are music lyrics. But then if the person knows the killers we bond and kiss and then I wonder, how did it end up like this ?

deep_in_vogue said...

Beautiful post. I love pomegranates as well. Not so fond of moths. And you are a gorgeous redhead. xo

Anna said...

it suits you very well, that red hair:)

Natalia said...

your photos are absolutely gorgeous- you should definitely pursue your passion! i know what you mean about being apprehensive about things are that are going to happen and it's almost like just putting a really thick guard up. sadly i must say that i have no idea how to turn this around besides taking risks and not caring about the outcome of life sometimes as long as you're happy and healthy.

you're a gorgeous red-head by the wayxx

Katie said...

i love the photo of the pomegranates bleeding into the sink- so pretty and creepy!

mieletcannelle said...

"Like waiting for the other shoe to drop even when there might not even be one" - THis is beautiful, and I really understand that. Keep truckin' little one.
xo

Clara said...

interesting! amazing hair!
xxx
http://naoqueropastiche.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

really you have the talent!!! adore your photos , always!!

JASMINA said...

Hi there Anna Pope :),

After a first shock at seeing you with so strong red hair,I have to admit that now I really like it.
I'm looking forward for new amazing pictures.I know,sometimes one needs some rest,but after so much studying it's normal.After that you'll be even more creative,for sure :)!
I love the pomegranates,too.They are such a unique fruit.
Kiss,kiss all the way to Romania :)!

JASMINA said...

Hi :),
it's me again.I just wanted to let you know that you are adorable =)!For details,please check my BLOG.

dapper kid said...

That second photograph is so beautiful, and the first of you is stunning! I think it is always important to make time to do those things to make us happy, glad you managed to find something to do that :)

Wanderlusting said...

Great pics, really. The pomengranate, the muesli.

I know exactly how you feel Anna...I feel like I don't have things on track either, these last few weeks have been such a standstill, when a month ago I was raring to go. Frankly, I need to snap out of it! Thanks for the inspiration.

B a r t a b a c said...

I love your bloggg!!!I would like to invite you to my blog, maybe you would like to be my follower:

http://bartabacmode.blogspot.com
KISSES

Clarity said...

Adore pomegranates and have photographed them lots, I normally wipe up the bl... juice though - normally.

Re. Freud, the amount of cocaine that man consumed, I can't believe he's still relevant, have you got to the part on women?

Red hair is beautiful, have you tried henna?

Hope you can stop by chez moi, Peace, x.

Eleh said...

wow. what a head turner!! i scrolled down the pictures and my my, you look lovely! and mm cereal. i usually put strawberries and bluerries :D

Sara said...

Great pictures! The breakfast looks very tasty! What sort of camera do you use?

x

Sandra said...

that's gorgeous color of your hair!! Amazing! And I'm a huge Killers fan, and this is one of my favorites!

box-of-style

Alice X said...

oh annnnnaaaa, i love your blog, espeically the pictures of the pomengrante bleeding. i love the essay you wrote to me about panic. i am even more heart broken after those ryan pictures:(!

Anonymous said...

Hola que tal mi nombres es Steffy, y veo que su blog
es original con mucho contenido realmente interesante.

Por otro lado cuento con un directorio llamado "Mundo Inicio" me gustaría saber si usted
está interesado en formar parte de el, a cambio le pediría de favor si podría enlazar uno
de mis 2 blogs que tengo, una es de "apuestas deportivas" y la otra habla sobre la
"ruleta y casinos en general". Porfa si estas interesado o quieres saber más al respecto no
dudes en contactarme: sist.deruelta@hotmail.com
Un fuerte abrazo. Saludos
Atte: Steffy

Alice X said...

it is indeed so difficult to like ryan ross these days. i feel like he's being a royal douche. i think bden and spence want to go a more a fever direction which makes me very happy. after listening to pretty odd for a year, i still like fever better:)

mariarose said...

your hair is beautiful dear x

siguro said...

such great photos!

Sarah A. said...

OPI makes a Burgundy nail color that you probably need - Im wearing it right now and its so scarily blood-colored.

Suzanne said...

wow, stunning haircolor!

kidlazy said...

I like your blog and these pics!!are u from Athens?